Recently, I re-read the “About Me”
section of my blog. About 9 months ago, I sat on the floor at my friend
Brittany’s house in Atlanta and told my small group girls I was moving to
Australia. I’m not too sure how big of a shock my news was to everyone but it
couldn’t have been that big of a surprise, as I had talked often about moving
somewhere – taking a risk – doing something “crazy.” I think back to when it
all began – Christmas of 2010. Like an older sister to me from the time I was 15,
Steph and I sat on the sofa at her parent’s house, and over a bottle of wine,
she told me about her decision to move her entire family to Australia. Her
husband, Scott had spoken with his company as well, and they agreed to transfer
him to an Asia-Pacific role. We laughed until tears filled our eyes envisioning
the four of them driving around in miniscule smart cars, seeing kangaroos and
koalas in their backyards, and Austin, their son, quickly picking up the accent
and phrases i.e., “Good-aye Mate!” The idea was so outrageous, it was almost
unbelievable, but then and there, I decided that I also wanted to move to
Australia. Ever since I can remember, I have always had the urge to live
overseas (which led to my decision to study abroad in France). I knew friends
who moved overseas after graduating college – places like Italy, the Ukraine, and
China. My goal was to always move back to France, but what intrigued me about Australia
was it is one of those ‘unattainable’ places; the remote outback on the
absolute other side of the world where so many Americans only dream of
visiting. And I had a chance to up and move there?! I never even second guessed
my decision, it was almost as if a switch flipped, stars aligned, and this was
exactly what I was supposed to be doing. I had no job, not much savings and no
idea what I would do when I arrived; I just knew I needed to come.
Looking back, there were many
reasons why I didn’t move somewhere straight away after graduation. For some
time, I resented the fact that I moved right back to Atlanta and struggled to
find a “real job.” Slaving away at two different internships, a modelling
agency all the while working as a full-time server at a restaurant and applying
for jobs every night – I was exhausted for 6 months until I landed “the perfect
job” at Atlanta Bread in July 2011. When the idea of Australia was planted into
my mind, I began to justify leaving Atlanta Bread after just one year of work.
The thought of giving up this hard earned position to move half-way across the
world, terrified me. However, the urge to live abroad fought harder than the
security of a perfect-turned-mediocre job, in the city which I grew up in. From
day one, I planned on leaving for Australia for just one year. With a racing
heart, I let Atlanta Bread know of my plan (they 100% backed up my decision and
even offered me a job on my return). I
remember thinking as well that an employer (upon my return to the US) would
never question my reasoning for leaving a job after one year to travel abroad.
I think so often, we get caught up in the “resume build.” Creating excuses in
our minds of having too large of a gap in between jobs, ensuring our resume is
perfection in terms of experience and timing and credentials. I know I even got
caught up in the hype of wondering what would happen if I came back after one
year abroad and I couldn’t find a job again – what would I do? Where would I
live and how would I make money?
Nine months later, I just have to
laugh. If I have learned one thing about myself – and this has become one HUGE
thing that has changed about me…I used to be a WORRY-WART to the extreme.
Everything had to be planned to the T. I had to have justification and reason for
every choice I made. I had to have all the dots connected to every single plan
in my life. I remember my dear friend Rachel (who has now lived in Kiev and
Istanbul – compared to me, she is 200% more courageous than I am!) becoming so
frustrated with me at times for having planned outings with her down to the
last second. She always told me to, ‘relax, and go with the flow.’ My control issues led to anxiety with the
unknown, the future, being alone, not having plans. I absolutely stressed
myself out!
Something changed in me that day I
received the email that the Australian government had granted my visa. I was in
the middle of running a 4-day conference for work and was to my absolute wits
end with exhaustion, stress and frustration. It seemed that everything that
could have gone wrong with the conference, with boys, with friends and with life
hiccups in general, had gone wrong that month.
{I have to quickly pause here to
tell a side story. In the past couple of days, I have been constantly reminded
of just how blessed I am. There is not one single thing in my life right now
that I can complain about, yet it happens. Irish Dave and I had dinner the
other night and just as I was complaining about the walk to work in the pouring
down rain, my umbrella turning inside out, and my train running late, he
stopped me in my tracks. He started laughing and before I could be upset about
him interrupting my vent, he explained that the same thing happened to him. He
arrived at the tram stop, just barely missing the one he usually catches and
having to wait 13 minutes until the next one. He was about to ring all the lads
and exclaim how preposterous this was that he had to wait 13 WHOLE minutes for
his ride home, when he paused. How are any of us going to start complaining
about these minute, first world problems when there are wars and starvation and
poverty happening even right in our backyards. I have taken this as a lesson to
think before I speak, before I complain, before I drone on about idiotic “problems”
I have throughout my day. A co-worker of mine passed me in the hallway the
other day and mumbled to me, “You are just too happy.” You know what – I am
full of joy! I love being happy, I love to always have a smile on my face. That’s
just who I am, and my hope is to share joy with everyone I come across during
my day. So next time I have those thoughts of judgement or frustration or
annoyance – I need to erase them as quickly as they appeared. Life is TOO
SHORT!}
So back to April 2011. Bad month,
but was granted my Working Holiday Visa. This allowed me to travel and work in
Australia for 1 year, but the catch was I could not stay at a single employer
for more than 6 months. ‘Perfect,’ I thought, ‘I could find a café or retail
job, travel and perhaps move around to other cities.’ I’m pretty sure people
from work knew something was up from that point on. It couldn’t have possibly
had anything to do with the bouts of screaming and laughing and crying I
proceeded to have for not only the remainder of the conference, but until I
told them I was moving, could it? I remember calling my mom and breaking down
in elation – it was finally happening! The night I flew home from the
conference, I booked my flight. I don’t think I have ever been more nervous
than anything else in my life. That moment of clicking the confirmation button
for a $1,500 plane ticket to Australia left me panicked and un-easy…for about
30 minutes. Then I was right back on my cloud nine. I remember running out to
the living room of my apartment to tell my roommates and best friends, Abby and
Jenny, about the purchase. Up until that point, neither one, especially Jenny,
thought I would actually make the move. They thought it was just another one of
my crazy ideas. Honestly, I think this lit even more of a fire under my tail to
prove everyone wrong - that I could leave my home and loved ones behind in
Atlanta and move to the other side of the world. Granted, this was the biggest
thing I have EVER done – so it did seem a little unbelievable. Buying that
plane ticket though solidified in everyone’s mind that yes, I was actually
moving. I remember my mom telling me before I left, that she was 100% happy and
proud and excited about my move, until she looked up how absolutely far away
Melbourne is from Atlanta. You couldn’t get more distance between us!
With my job resignation, ticket
purchasing and visa out of the way, all I had left to do was pack say some
tearful good-byes and board the plane. Coming full circle, I am leaving in two
weeks to head home for a visit for the first time since July 2011. In
retrospect, I have met people here who moved from home and didn’t go back for
years. I felt guilty about not coming home in December for Christmas, but now
it’s May and I have zero regrets for not coming home sooner, nor do I about
waiting any longer to come back either. My little sisters are both celebrating
huge milestones in their lives, and I would not want to miss that for the
world. Victoria will be leaving 8th grade, making her big and scary
step up into high school. Courtney is making the even bigger and scarier step
in COLLEGE! Oh my goodness, I can’t believe they are both so grown up. I told
my mom the other day that I am turning into such a sap. I can feel the motherly
instincts taking over. Tears welled up in my eyes when I opened Courtney’s
graduation party invitation. I mean am I really THAT sap that gets emotional over
Hallmark cards and cheesy TV commercials? I guess I am, but I don’t care. I am
so proud of my sisters, of my whole family (I’m pretty sure my friends down
here are sick of hearing about them) and I want everyone to know it.
So to re-cap, I take you back to
the very first entry on my blog. The “About Me” section from last year:
As I left
the Glory days of the University of Georgia, I embarked on an adventure that I
soon began to refer to as "Stumbling Through My 20's." It seemed only
appropriate to document these graceful moments of highs and lows in a sequence
of chapters appropriately titled by the major surrounding events. I begin this
documentation with Chapter 6: Stumbling Down Under. Although I will go back to
write Chapters 1-5, I begin the tale here, with the greatest, most looked
forward to, yet most terrifying event of my life: Moving to Melbourne,
Australia for One Year. Over this next year, I am hopeful and anxious to meet
many new people, work on a vineyard, travel, and most importantly, gather as
many life lessons from these future memories as possible, to return to the U.S.
in one year as a new and improved version of myself. Let the journey begin...
Well, I can say a few things here:
Obviously, Stumbling Down Under
was a completely relevant and appropriate title for Ch. 6 – not only with my
entrance into the Melbourne Airport (refer to blog post 1), but in particular, my
first broken bone incident.
“Greatest, most looked forward to,
yet most terrifying event of my life” – well yes, all of those are true, and
there were even moments when I cried out to the heavens asking what in the
world possessed me to do this!? But I would not for one second take this back
for the world. I have finally learned to let go, to relax, to take it easy.
There is no point in stressing and becoming terrified of the unknown and not
having my life planned down to the last millisecond. Life is to be enjoyed to
the fullest, with whatever obstacles it throws your way. Roll with the punches
and enjoy every last minute.
Over these past 9 months, I have
met more than many new people, from all different backgrounds, walks of life,
pasts and presents. I’ve met the most wonderful group of friends [including a
cute but completely unexpected Irish boy ;) ] who surround me, encourage me and
challenge me on a daily basis.
Work on a vineyard. Now, I have
mixed feelings about this one still. Working on a vineyard is still very much a
dream of mine (well actually, owning a vineyard and making my own wine is my
dream), but I’m not sure if that will happen here in Australia. Never say
never, but perspectives change when you are actually put into a situation. Ya
see, here, backpackers (the young travellers with no jobs and usually nothing
but a bit of savings) are the ones who get jobs at Fruit Farms and Vineyards as
‘fruit pickers.’ If you work as a fruit picker for 3 months, the Australian
government adds 1 additional year to your visa. Enter in Bethany, the
over-achiever, who decided to choose the corporate job that would straight-away
sponsor her 457, 4-year Visa, over fruit-picking for 3 months. Hence, the lack
of interest to work on a vineyard and the subsequent 1-year plan out the
window. That was a fun phone call to make to back home, “By the way, I’m not
coming home after one year, I might stay for four!” I was prepared to work in
two different cafés for 6 months at a time each, and now I have a real job, a
real apartment with real bills. Australia is my home now for a while…
I think that during this time
here, I HAVE become a new and improved version of myself, full of life lessons
and stories to tell and memories to keep forever. The person I was back in
December 2009 is nowhere near the person I am today, nor will it be the person
I am 10 years down the road. I am just so happy and thankful I made this move.
Travelling and experiencing the world is the greatest gift you can give to
yourself – and it’s never too late! (All the retirees down here sell all their
possessions, buy a campervan and travel around Aussie. They are kindly referred
to as the ‘Grey Nomads’). Now that I
have the travel bug, my mind never slows down about where I want to visit (or
move to) next.
So now that this journey has begun, I say, let the journey
continue…
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